Wednesday, March 20, 2013

two posts in one day? holy diabetes, batman!

does anyone else find blood sugar confusing?
i find that when i try to explain it to non-diabetics, i end up thinking to myself, 
that made no sense

how do i explain to someone why my dexcom reads 166 mg/dL and my meter reads 133 mg/dL?
well, let me go down my laundry-list of guesses...

[hey fashion readers making the transition with me, below is a dexcom.]
[[its exclusively chic feature is its pinkness]]

well, it is a dexcom atop hershey's hugs both to be funny and ironic.
through a sensor attached to my body, it checks my blood sugar every 5-minutes and charts it.

three different times in the past two months,
i have been ready to wave the white flag on my "honeymoon phase".
the numbers just start to defy logic sometimes.

this is me on a literal honeymoon.
didn't want that to end either.
i wonder how many carbs are in that cocktail, anyway?

heck, i don't know if my honeymoon is over.
 but sometimes it feels like it is trying to quit me.
and i try to "brace myself" emotionally.
 i'm not sure why, because i injected shots for the first six months of my diagnosis.
truthfully, i think it is that i've enjoyed my body better off insulin.
i lost all the weight the insulin had packed on, plus a couple.

having to wait for your body to inevitably swell just doesn't seem fair unless you're pregnant.
you see, insulin helps you store fat.
because a non-diabetic's insulin is self-regulating, this is not a side effect.
diabetics tend to have more insulin than they need due to imperfect dosing,
and often end up consuming more calories to raise blood sugar levels.
lovely cycle, really. 

it took three girls to zip this dress, which was fitted prior to diagnosis.
chic stops when you have to sacrifice, well, breathing...

but pay close attention to the "food and fitness" tab,
because i will be fighting this process every step of the way :)

let me tell you something:
this is not an attempt at a compliment or sympathy.
if i am going to transition into sharing my diabetic journey,
then it has to be an honest dialogue. 
not half-truths and the good days. 
the whole picture. 

at the end of the day,
in my heart of hearts, 
i know that chic isn't a number on a scale or a designer handbag.
it is a commitment to cultivating an inner-beauty that makes physical beauty an afterthought.
for me, that starts with truth.
[and a really self-deprecating sense of humor]

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