Friday, October 2, 2015

Letters to Baby P: Volume One

Baby P,

I hope that what changes me the most about becoming your mom is a shift in perspective and a renewed sense of self. There is a great big world out there, and I have been my own focus for 28.5 years now. I've dwelled on superficial problems such as whether or not I was going to be invited to the next girl's dinner or struggling with why someone might not want to be my friend. I've always wanted to fix it because I care very much what people think of me. Maybe it's a curse or maybe it's human nature, but I have always envied the people who are able to let that stuff roll off their backs. I hope you become one of those people who is kind to others without tying their perceptions to your identity. It's a true discipline. 

I think a lot about this blog - in its many phases - and try to be very aware of its level of honesty. I read a lot of fashion blogs. Many of them I love because the fashion is great. The images are beautiful. The site is clean and easy. But there is also a sense that a lot of bloggers contrive an identity of wealth or even distort their own happiness. Blogs can be edited. You include the good pictures. You leave out the bad details. You can manipulate the message however you want to control perceptions. While I live a pretty blessed life, as cliche as that is, I want this blog to capture the reality that everything is not always easy. That's why I've been open about issues like miscarriage and Diabetes instead of pretending like my world is constant rainbows and shopping. Staying true to your identity is an important thing, Baby P. 

It's not that I want you to change who I am, but I want your very existence to remind me that my purpose in life is bigger than I ever imagined. The things that used to keep me up at night (trust me, few things do - I love my sleep!) won't even show up on the radar anymore. Any source of negativity, whether it is people, things or activities, will be edited out. I can't control whether bad things happen. Trust me, they're going to happen. I can't pretend that there isn't evil in the world, and one day we will fail in sheltering you from that reality. I can control the company I keep, my attitude, my focus and my message to you. My first piece of advice is an important one - when you run into small-minded people, be kind to them but don't emulate them. Instead, be an example of kindness and tolerance. Choosing to see the world and those in it through a positive lens will enrich your life as well as those whom you encounter along the way. If you do this, you won't find yourself needing to fake it on the next great social media platform. You'll be respected enough for just for being yourself. That is my hope for you.

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