Monday, May 23, 2016

Postpartum Update

Eila is really the one doing the most changing from month-to-month, but I also have been undergoing changes since February 17th. Even the way I look at those early days is different with a little time and additional context. Here are a few examples:

Concepts of Time

At the time, I thought she'd sleep in our room forever meaning we'd never get another restful night of asleep again. 

The reality? At six weeks we put her in her crib and never used the bassinet again. In fact, Lucas dismantled the bassinet last night because it was taking up precious space in our bedroom. It tugged at my heart a little bit because even though it signified the end of an era that was 8 weeks ago, I still felt sad closing the newborn chapter. 

At the time, I thought she'd never outgrow her newborn clothes. 

She was early, so she had some catching up to do. A couple of weeks ago, we noticed she was too long and too thick for her newborn clothes. I started clearing out the drawer and putting them in a plastic bin...which also made me sad. I mean, she is only 3 months old and I hold up her newborn clothes and think I cannot believe she fit in these ever! So tiny!  '

At the time, I thought I'd be on maternity leave forever.

I was drowning in daytime television, but now that I've been back at work for three weeks, I'm enjoying this new normal and maternity leave feels like it flew! 

But she's still my newborn, right?

Wrong. I still receive What to Expect emails. The latest one informed me that my newborn is now an infant. What? No! 


Fortunately, I haven't looked postpartum for a while now. Between surgery and night sweats, those 17  pounds I gained came right off. Ohhh, but postpartum life isn't all about weight now is it? I thought to myself, I stopped breastfeeding a while ago and my hair still isn't falling out. Maybe I am one of the lucky ones. My friends, postpartum hair loss has found me and set up shop on my scalp. I feel like there are little creatures with scissors having a cutting party all over my head so that when I take a shower, it all falls out. I find my hair on Eila. My hair cakes the bathroom floor and the drain. It flies under the door when I blow dry my hair and settles in the corners. If I vacuum it up, it looks just as bad by tomorrow. This is whack. With no end in sight.

I sleep! I could be writing an update next month that negates all of this, but for right now, I sleep eight hours a night!

Things I've Learned

Carseats are heavy when babies are in them.

I listened to those people who told me to accept help from others. And it definitely helped

Our child literally does change every single day and it both excites me, rattles me and grounds me all at once.

Formula feeding, while not my Plan A, has made our lives very easy. Lucas can feed her. My mom feeds her. We can take her anywhere.  But cleaning bottles is not the most fun I've ever had.

With girls, don't wipe from back to front. Hahahaha...listen...that's a great rule for later, but...when Eila goes #2, it's already all of the places. 

The Boon Lawn was a great invention. 

She likes the Swing, MomaRoo, and Boppy... in certain moods.

Mostly what I have learned ties back in with the concept of time. You're warned by anyone who has been through it that it goes so fast. When you bring baby number one home from the hospital, nothing about those early days feels fast. Exhausting? Sure. While you're busy changing a million diapers, cleaning bottles, pumping, putting the baby down for a nap, doing laundry really quickly, grabbing a bite to eat...your baby is busy growing and changing. Phases are just that, phases. They consume you when you're in them, but you blink and you're on to the next one. My love for Eila grows each day and with each smile or whimpering cry. Parenthood, for all its quirks and challenges, is by far the coolest experience of which I could be a part. 

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