Friday, July 22, 2016

Coffee + Conversation: Did I need to explain?

Parenting is such a brand spankin' new world and it evolves as you and your child grow. I mean, parenting for us right now is a lot of bottles, diaper changes and trying to make E giggle. But that won't always be the case. I've noticed myself as well as other moms over-explaining why I am doing what I am doing in a given situation. I know what you're thinking - that is nobody's business but yours! Yep. You're right, but that's not how it works. We will call it momsplaining.


  • Yes. I went back to work earlier than I had to on maternity leave because I was ready. And I felt the need to explain that to everyone I ran into and in my blog. "You know, it's not that I don't love being home with her..." Stop. Right. There. 
  • Yes, my husband is feeding her in public while I eat my dinner. But I swear I do a lot. You may not see it but I change diapers, hug, play ... Stop. Right. There.
  • No, we didn't breastfeed. But did I tell you about all the things I did to try and make it work? Did I tell you about the hospital pump I rented? Stop. Right. There. 

Sound familiar? Can you come up with some of your own examples? Why do we do this? We are convinced we don't have any idea what we are doing, but we would really like it if other people had the impression that we aren't idiots.There are some hardcore mom-shamers out there, but chances are the majority of folks are not reading into everything you do. Chances are they have their own battles to fight and, in event that they do pick you apart, it's likely stemming from a place of insecurity or jealousy of their own. 

If you have all your mom-shit together, then I don't care to hang out with you or talk ro you. I don't even want you to be my friend because you are a unicorn. I don't want to be friends with unicorns. I don't have time to be friends with unicorns. I want to be friends with people who turned their backs for a second and the baby had rolled off the Boppy onto the couch. I want to talk to the women whose kids eat frozen meals from time to time. I want to talk to real humans who are shuffling along the best they can. Yes, it's true. One quick way to make me upset is to imply that I am not doing my best. It doesn't happen often, but it happens. But I am done explaining myself. I shouldn't feel the need to do it, and you shouldn't expect it of me. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

09 10 11 12
Blogging tips